A Big Sister's perspective...

I've been letting Jessie do the blogging, because honestly... I've been at a loss for words. Even when my mom called to tell me, while I was in the middle of Nordstrom Rack, I didn't know what to say. When we were little and someone (usually a little boy) would be picking on my sisters or hurt them, I'd get soooo mad and I'd dole out my own punishment. They would usually end up with a black eye or some other bruising. After I got off the phone with my mom, I was angry and I wanted to punch the "person" who was hurting my sister. Unfortunately, this time around it wasn't a person but a disease. I got into the car and called Kimmy, "Talk to me... what's going on?" That's me. Matter of fact. She told me, I listened, we cried and I told her I loved her and then I waited until her biopsy results came in.

Jessie said she didn't know how I was feeling when she put up one of her posts. I had no energy, I was distracted, this is my favorite time of year and I was trying very hard to stay in the Christmas spirit. Jessie and I went to midnight mass... she cried and I just sat there trying desperately to form some sort of prayer and I realized... I forgot how to pray. The only thing I could form was

Get my sister through this, keep her safe, please watch out for her and her family

While Kimmy was having her PET scan and MRI, Steve thought it would be good to distract me with a movie. It didn't help. I fell asleep during Sherlock Holmes with my cell phone in my hand in case my mom called.

The rest Jessie posted the other day. The cancer is between Stage 3B and 3C. It is definitely treatable. She will meet with an oncologist after the 1st of the year (their insurance carrier changes tomorrow), and she has decided to have both breasts removed. Duane did say that he would like to help Kimmy pick out her new breasts, which had me laughing and I told her, "What husband WOULDN'T want to help out!" :-)

I'm still in disbelief that this has touched my family. I've always thought of us as invincible, indestructible and this diagnosis makes me realize that life is so very precious and never to take things for granted

One thing that stands out in the emails from friends who I have told is the following,

Just remember, prayers go a long way, but so does laughter. Keep her laughing, it will help all of you thru this rough road...

So we will continue to make her laugh (with our silly stories) and we hope you will help in this, as well. It has been said that "laughter is the best medicine".

As we say goodbye to 2011, we hope you all have a wonderful new years eve, stay safe and healthy!
Erika

The wait is over...now, ON GUARD!

I had a moment that is challenging...I seem to have lots of them. Erika was at the movies, I was at The Container Store and Kimmy was having an MRI. What's wrong with that picture? Wow, it's only been a week and so much can play with your mind. This is a lesson in mental toughness for all of us. 


The wait is over and we've received the news on Kimmy's results. 


My mom has read the complete report and as she puts it, she feels more relaxed now that she knows the enemy.


She has Breast Cancer, Stage 3, between levels B and C. She was given this designation because the cancer has metastasized into her lymph nodes.  The report is very encouraging! The report states that everything from skull to knees is clear and "unremarkable". Marcia said not to get scared because of the term Stage 3. Again, thank the lord for Marcia because I heard it and had a quick panic.  She is being given a list of other doctors to see and will select one for her second opinion.  Her cancer is VERY treatable! 


As for what's next, she will be meeting soon with an oncologist. 


Kimmy has decided to have both breasts removed and eventually reconstructed.  I told her not to worry, next summer when we take our 4th of July pic, we'll just put Erika in the middle. She will help balance me out! (Just a little side humor there!)


Tonight, they celebrated with chocolate and French Bread. An interesting combination I know, but if you know us, we are an interesting family.


This is just the beginning, but there is something that feels oddly solid about knowing the results. Like my mom said, we now know the enemy and a plan is close to being set. 


....Here's to happy families, lots of love, light switches turning on, and to your good health.


Ladies and gentlemen, get your boobs checked.


Happy New Year,


The Seesters
"sana, sana, colita de rana....."

After the news...

Getting the news of Kimmy's cancer before Christmas was quite shocking. How on earth do you have a merry and jolly Christmas when you know your sister is about to go through the toughest fight of her life? It almost was breathtaking, not in a good way. I'm serious, for me, it was hard to breathe.

I have to say that one of the worst moments of my life had to be when my mom walked in to my home to tell me the news. She didn't have to say a thing, it was written all over her face, I was about to receive terrible news. I will never forget that feeling, I was numb. My mom and dad are superstars. Not a flinch and they were off to Phoenix. 

I want to mention and thank someone who may never see this...Marcia Horn. Marcia is the daughter of my moms former boss and friend, Congressman Steve Horn. We could never have known that putting my mom into the path of the Horn family would bring the ties even closer together.  Marcia Horn lives in the Phoenix area and is the President of the International Cancer Advocacy Network.  All I can say is wow.  My mom was immediately on the phone with her and she has declared her support to Kimmy and that she will be with her every step of the way.  Already, Marcia is translating information, providing leads, and supporting her in a way that no one else can.  She is the voice of reason. She says relax, and we all remember to breathe.  Thank you Marcia Horn. You are a living guardian angel.


www.askican.org 

The Nelsons and my parents drove to Garden Grove for Christmas Day.

I can say that we had the BEST Christmas ever!  No need for tons of details here but my dad has two sisters, one in Tucson and another in Kentucky.  A higher power was working some magic (I think there was some secret Tebow-ing going).  Before the news hit, Kentucky and Uncle Kentucky had made last minute plans to visit their daughter in San Diego, we knew they'd be with us for Christmas.  Two days before the news, Aunt and Uncle Tucson said they wanted to come in and surprise everyone.  Minus two cousins and two grandkids, we had everyone together for Christmas 2011. I can't even tell you when that last happened! We didn't talk about it openly because the children don't know but we certainly had lots of side conversations, all expressing love and support. 

I like to offer images to explain what's going on in my head and this is what I see...a lightswitch.  Yep, a lightswitch. Introducing cancer into our family flipped on the lightswitch.  I feel like we see each other differently, everyone isn't afraid to express feelings, offer up support or use the words I love you. Man, that sure felt good to have that all come together on Christmas Day. Our team has assembled, we've got the armor on and are all ready to stand and fight behind Kimmy.

We were thankful to have the Nelsons and my parents make the 24 hour trip for Christmas.  They left Monday the 26th and on the 27th, Kimmy had an MRI and PET scan.  Results to come in 24-48 hours.  Now the wait. 

Our New Pink

I recently wrote an email to someone and in it, wrote, “Hey....things could be worse. We could be Lindsay Lohan.”

Things are worse.

My little sister has breast cancer.

You know how people use “pre and post 9/11” to give you a time frame? Well, I now use Dec. 22, 2011 as my pre and post. 12/22. Doesn’t have the same ring to it, but it will clearly stand the test of time as the day time stood still. More on 12/22 later.

I will have plenty of time to write more, but for now, I have some housekeeping to get out of the way:

1. Erika (Big sis) and I have received permission from Kimmy and Duane to write about this journey, providing details and updates along the way. In this way, we will be our sisters keeper.

2. No weenies allowed. People…this sucks (and by the way, we will probably be really blunt). Please write comments, we look forward to it… but do not treat my seester like a porcelain doll. She doesn’t want that, nor do we. Remember, the Sziebl girls are tough chicks. No boo hoos, and I’m sorry’s. We like “kick some tail Kimmy!” or “Are you watching the Bachelor?”...no one is in denial here. Just looking forward to good karma and positive energy!

3. I like to be flowery and Erika is matter of fact. You’ll be able to tell who is writing, but just to make sure, I’ll end mine with “Jessie and Erika” and she’ll close with her name first.

4. PG-13….there are never any guarantees

5. I haven’t asked Erika yet how she is feeling today (as I write, it’s the 27th), but I’m thinking I’m in the angry phase. I’m sure it’ll pass, but for now, know I am different. I see everything vividly, time passes in slow motion, and so many things are just petty right now. I have felt my sisters “lump”. This is real life people. This is frieken real. I’m just happy the Elves went back to the North Pole because I was about to shoot the overachieving moms competing with each other on facebook. There, I said it. This is the new me, at least for now. Take it or leave it, just try to understand it.

6. What will we talk about? I have no idea.
What will be post? I really can’t say.
What do we want to get out of this blog? Your love and support, and a little e-therapy (you know, the kind of fuzzy feeling you get when your birthday passes on facebook and you get tons of nice messages?! If you aren't on facebook, you really should get one, just for the birthday messages)

In my house, teamwork is the ultimate power. We need ultimate power on our side right now.

7. If you are following this site, thank you. Please keep our dear seester Kimmy and her family in your prayers. Pass it on...



Oh, and if you are wondering, Kimmy will probably just post her own comments. She's pretty witty at those. In time, I'm sure she'll write more but for now, we'll get the details out. This is the best way to keep all of our loved ones in the know.

One more thing, I finally know what I want to be when I grow up...the best big sister ever.

With love,


Jessie and Erika