Special messages...

T+5 and Kimmy is on the mend.  There really isn't much to say about these days post first infusion. I've sent her messages, simple ones "How do you feel today?" and I get back "I feel good. :)"  That makes me happy. 

Here's moms take:
She was fine the first two days without nausea.
The fatigue came in Sat. and more pronounced Sunday.
Worse yesterday and today she feels better.

My dad was out there for 5 days and came home yesterday. It was a good thing he went and I think it's a good thing to have someone hanging around after infusions because when your body says rest, you must rest. That rest is going to be big in helping her get back on track.  A little extra help for Duane to run kids around to parties and sports is a good thing.  

My mom received a special message from someone today and part of my mom's response to her, I believe, has a message for all of us:

"P.S. I appreciate your asking. You do not know how many people stay away because they do not know what to say. I know they care but they do not know how to approach the family."

Sometimes it is hard to reach out when you feel like you just don't have the words. I know I have missed opportunities for that very reason. I'm going to think differently now because I know the act of reaching out in time of need is truly courageous in and of itself. I now ALSO know how reaching out has affected Kimmy in such a positive way. No encouraging words are ever wrong, rather, they are always welcomed and very appreciated. They now come with the understanding of how difficult it may have been to share the words. That makes them all the more special.

So, thank you everyone...for asking questions, and for not being afraid (or even being afraid) to reach out and for sharing your strength and compassion with Kimmy and the family.

*************************************

I had the opportunity to work the NFC Championship football game this weekend (shout out to Maria Giannini!) and had a couple of special people send Kimmy some very special messages. (Try to log onto the actual website to see the pictures) www.ournewpink.blogspot.com

Kristin Chenoweth says "Kim, keep smiling!" This woman is priceless and it turns out her mom had the EXACT same thing Kimmy has!  Kristin said "You TELL your sister something for me. You tell her to get rid of them! My mom had a lumpectomy and it came back." So, Kristin is getting her hair and makeup done and I sent that to Kimmy via text. Kimmy's response was "Haha! Awesome! Kristin Chenoweth just told me to get rid of my boobs! How cool is that!"You KNOW I had to read that back to Kristin and the woman was in stitches over the great response.

Kimmy's response to the picture was "OMG! That is the best! Thank you. =) I will!". 

Another (ahem) friend (yeah, I wish!) sent Kimmy this message...

It's hard to read, totally my fault, but so worth the effort. Jimmy Stafford, lead guitar from TRAIN said "Kimmy, kick some tail!" He sends his best, he really did. I don't make those things up.

I think I've now created another mission. Erika is keeping the Shoe Solidarity Movement going and now I'm going to make myself like a Flat Stanley and see who I can get to send Kimmy special messages.  Or, is that more like Where's Waldo? Either way, feel free to join in this mission too!

Support Kristin and Train whenever you can people. They are rockstars in every way.

Love,
Jessie

At the end of the day...

...All is well.

I'm not sure what I expected to happen but Kimmy is Kimmy, the same sounding Kimmy she was yesterday. Something about that was very reassuring.  I got a call after her first chemotherapy session today and basically, it went off without a hitch. Was I expecting her voice to change like when you suck helium out of a balloon? I don't think so.  I think I built this up in my head so big that I don't know what I expected, but today wasn't it. Believe me, that's a good thing!

Kimmy said that she was most nervous about the insertion of the needle into the porta cath.  The nurse told her to take a deep breath in and she did, and walah! the needle was in. She didn't feel a thing and said that brought her great relief!  She listened to music, read her kindle, played on her phone and surprisingly said it went by very fast!

Tomorrow, she has a scheduled injection (the day after every treatment). This is something that is supposed to boost her cell count.  We aren't sure what the next few days will hold since this is the first one but god willing, the side effects won't be too bad.  Duane isn't on call this weekend and my dad is there too so there are plenty of hands on deck to help out and let her relax. Dad, how's the lint trap looking?

The shoe movement is catching on! If you don't want pink shoes, put anything pink in your pocket to serve as a reminder of Kimmy and others battling cancer. It's a simple and great way to offer your support.  The power of positive thinking is working.  Kimmy feels it every day so keep it coming!

I'm in San Francisco right now and as I look at this beautiful city, I am reminded of the beauty and love that is around us that can fill our lives. Be thankful every day for what you have, try to see people and life through different glasses and remember everyone has story. You may not know the story, but offer up a smile. It could be the one thing that makes a difference in their day.

Keep smiling Kimmy...we all love you. I am one of your biggest fans!

Jessie

T minus 3 days

Kimmy had her "chemo class" today. Honestly, I forgot to ask her what she learned! We will let you know later. I think it was mostly about certain foods she is to stay away from during her treatment but again, I'm not yet positive. It's not that there was a lack of interest, it's just that we knew she would learn the date of her first chemo session, and that is what I was anxious to hear.

We did learn that she was given a schedule of her treatment plan.  Apparently, she will receive a master schedule of all her appointments, including chemo sessions, next day injections, lab work, etc.

Her first chemo date is set for this Thursday, January 19 at 11:00 am (Phoenix time). T minus 3 days....

There is something strange about the dates big things are happening. We found out about her cancer on my nieces birthday, her portacath was inserted on our Oma's birthday and her first chemo is on my daughter Mia's birthday. What are the chances? There has to be some good karma behind that.

After a little bit of deliberation, Hansi will be heading out to Phoenix on Wednesday and stay though the weekend. We've been talking alot about someone being with Kimmy during her sessions, especially the first one, but after talking to her, I now realize that may have been more for us, or just me, but it was important to tell her so. I really appreciated, after I heard a little bit of a sigh, that she was able to tell me she really just wanted to do this one by herself, read her book, listen to her ipod, essentially just sit in peace.

I'm good with that. I'm glad she said it. Otherwise, us cackling fools might try to fill the space of uncomfortable silence with too much talking. Maybe I should just speak for myself here. But, now I know and if I ever do go with her, I will be able to bring my book and my ipod too, and know it's okay.

************************************

My mom has said numerous times that she knows how she feels and can't even imagine what Kimmy feels like. I think everyone has something different going on.  This week, I felt like a horse in a cage about to start a race....feet moving, only in place, anticipating the opening of the gate...you can picture it, lots of subdued jostling but enough to know that the moment the gate opens, it's off to the races. Well folks, we are now off to the races.

************************************

Random thought: Everytime I write the words cancer or chemo, I keep saying to myself 'is that supposed to be capitalized?'. Well, I caught myself talking to the computer telling these two words 'you don't deserve to capitalized!' I had a few choice words in there as well.

Caps for proper nouns, what's so proper about cancer or chemo? Nothing, so you don't get my caps!

I warned you...random thought.

*************************************

Nikki update: I wish I had the capacity to not only perfectly quote Kimmy but to also bring to life the way her voice sounded when I asked about Nikki. She said she is doing so great, so much better than expected. Kimmy has to utilize her left arm for most tasks. She has to keep her right side pretty steady to let the portacath settle properly. She also can't let it get wet just yet. Nikki helped her wash her hair in the sink and when mom holds one handle of the laundry basket, Nikki holds the other. Together, they carry it up the stairs. Not only that, Nikki switched the laundry on her own and took the dry stuff upstairs. Now, you may think that's an easy task, but if you have young kids, then you understand how utterly cool that is. Kimmy said she did it all on her own, no one had to ask. That, is what makes this special. She is getting it, and no one had to say a word. A few weeks ago, a laundry story didn't bring lumps to my throat. Now it does. Making us proud Nikki....

Teamwork is the ultimate power,

Jessie

P.S. So, a Shoe Solidarity Movement has materialized for Kimmy! If you want to take part, go get some pink kicks...check ours out! Who is next?

Friday the 13th...not so bad after all...

Right now, hopefully Kimmy is sleeping! She didn't sleep much last night and was up before the crack of dawn.

I learned that the MUGA scan was easy. She had 3 electrodes placed around her  rib and chest area. Then, something that sounds like a panel came down on top of her, she said it practically touched her nose, then an angle, then on the sides, but it wasn't fully enclosed (unlike an MRI). Each panel movement resulted in a 4 minute scan.

The technician asked her what she was getting the scan for. His response was a good one...helped to lift the spirits! He said when he was 15 he had Hodgkins Lymphona and that was 15 years ago. Good karma going in to this.

For the portacath, she was given Verced, which she called the "twilight" drug...you aren't out but you aren't totally with it either. She said she could hear everything, doctors talking, etc.

Big step coming up....She just texted and said that her "chemo class" is Monday at 4pm and that they will schedule her chemo appointments then. (insert deeeeep breath here)

**********

Yesterday, Kimmy told Nikki (11) and Nathan (almost 6) that she is sick but that the doctors are going to give her some really good medicine to to help her get better. Nikki, smart as a whip directly asked "Do you have cancer?". Nathan, after Kimmy says she is going to lose her hair said "That's not cool."

Although dreading having to tell the kids, Kimmy felt better that they now know. It was a burden like no other to carry, and I, for one, am glad that weight is lifted from her shoulders. Great job seester.

So friends and family, I ask that you not only pray for Kimmy and Duane too, but pray for my niece and nephew. They are about to receive a life lesson that children just shouldn't have to learn. But, like all lessons, we accept the challenge.

Collective hug everyone...I am picturing all 50 plus people on this website in a basketball team huddle, arms linked, shoulder to shoulder, Kimmy, Duane, Nikki and Nathan in the middle.

We got your back kid....

Jessie

Update....

Hi friends, we have an update for you....

Kimmy has a 7am appointment tomorrow morning (Friday). She will have a portacath inserted.

Portacath is a device that is used to make the administration of chemotherapy easier.  It is placed under the skin in the upper part of the chest.

She will also have a MUGA Scan, which is a test for the heart. You can read more here about this MUGA scan  http://heartdisease.about.com/cs/cardiactests/a/muga.htm

Tante Liz (my dad's sister) lives in Tucson and is coming in today to take her to the appointment tomorrow. She was told she needs a ride home. Thank you Liz for offering your support from the beginning, meaning it, and stepping up when asked. Thank you just doesn't seem enough....

Kimmy has to go through a chemo education appointment before she can actually start.  She has a pending item with insurance and once it clears, she will have this appointment.  What we do know is that this first chemo treatment plan will be four infusions. They last for 3 hours and will be every two weeks.

Phoenix is one hour ahead of us so when you wake tomorrow, make your first thought a good one for Kimmy...

In closing, I received an email yesterday from a girl I used to coach.  Her mom's mastectomy was literally a few days ago. She wrote, "It's okay to smile during times like these". Boy, I needed that reminder.

Kimmy...."smell the roses, blow out the candles" (you know what I mean) and remember it's ok to smile! Love you!

Jessie

These Boots are made for Walking...

Hi Everyone,
Sorry it's taken me so long to post, but I've been waiting for some information from Kimmy. She did have her oncologist appointment today and after talking with my sister, I think it was a waste of her time, my mom's time and left Kimmy confused, having more questions than answers and NO decision on what she was going to do. My opinion? This wasn't a very productive meeting and all I can say is that I'm glad it was my mom that was there instead of me...

The oncologist told Kimmy that he wanted her to do the neoadjuvent treatment first. It would be approximately four treatments, one every two weeks and each treatment would be 3 hours. But he thought that if the tumors shrunk they could then do a lumpectomy. OR if the tumors shrunk then nothing else would be needed, no lumpectomy, no mastectomy, nada. He said if the cancer came back then he would do the mastectomy. (REALLY?!?)

Obviously, Kimmy was just a tad bit upset, so once they got home she called her General Surgeon (GS) just to get their voicemail letting callers know that they were off today due to training. All Kimmy could do was leave a message (and as Kimmy said, she tried to sound as destitute as possible so the GS would call her back)... and the long afternoon wait began.

The GS did call Kimmy back (late in the day) and she said that the GS made her feel so much better that a decision was finally made. The GS did agree with the oncologist on the neoadjuvent treatment being the first course of action. There will be a few other treatments that Kimmy will need prior to the surgery so she is looking at 4-5 months before her mastectomy.

Bottom line... the chemo treatments could start as early as next week!

I just want to drive out to Goodyear, meet her General Surgeon, give her a HUUUUUGE hug and THANK her for making my sister feel so much better. I feel like we have been collectively holding our breath the last few weeks... it's good to finally breathe again.

Now the real work begins... especially for my sister. I wish I lived out there so I could hold her hand every step of the way. The one thing I do know is my sister is one tough cookie and can handle whatever is thrown her way, especially now that she has new PINK Doc Marten's my Tante Karolina sent her from Kentucky. I know she'll kick the shit out of this disease with those boots. Now to get her a pink wig to go with the Doc Marten's. :)

Keep her in your thoughts and prayers and we'll continue to post updates on how she's doing.

Thanks for your continued support. We truly appreciate all the kind words.

Erika

Silver Linings...

I know I said more Tuesday, but I couldn't resist sharing a few moments that I see as silver linings in this new chapter in life...


Silver Lining #1

If you know my dad, he likes to check our lint traps, gas tanks, and make sure our plants are watered. When you know he is coming over, we are on high alert. When my parents first went to Phoenix, Kimmy made comment that she had to dust. I said "*bleep* the dust, just check the lint trap"...made us laugh.  Today mom said dad has something new he's going to check when he comes home.  He told Kimmy "I cleaned your vacuum today. I saved the hair for you in case you need it later". I know, gross, right? Nope, just plain 'ol dad humor. I'm still laughing.

SL: Not only will our lint traps be clean, but now, our vacuums will be tended to as well.


Silver Lining #2

Mom is getting to really experience the life of the lunch lady, with a few tips from Kimmy. Handing over the pair of plastic gloves... "Do NOT argue with them if they throw out their uneaten lunches!" Horror of all horrors for mom...wasted food.  Apparently, the decibels get louder and louder from Kinder to older hungry children. Mom snuck out to 'clear her ears' and check emails. Kimmy found her hunkered down in the quiet gym. She said "Kimmy handed me a rag to clean 50 TABLES four different times! Those poor lunch ladies work really hard." The only thing she said she wouldn't agree to is to push the trash bin through the aisles. Mom said "I've SEEN what those kids do. They throw their food at the bins and miss! I refuse to be the target!"

She also is called "Grandma" in the classroom...'grandma, I need help!'...'grandma, can you open this?!' Pardon my laugh, that just cracks me up.

She has also gone through Nathan's right of passage. She was told she could pick him up at the bus stop instead of Opa.

SL: Mom is getting to experience some quality moments with her AZ grandkids. A day in the life of a child and in someone else's shoes, priceless.


Quick Doctor note:

Kimmy has been given the names of two plastic surgeons she will get to meet next week. Turns out Dr. McSteamy was busy.

The GS said that one doctor is "a man, 65, with wild white hair and a vocabulary that will make a sailor blush".

The next is a young female, reserved and very businesslike. Takes a little to get to like her but in the end will love her.

Well, if you know Kimmy, it should be obvious which one would be a good fit, based off of these descriptions. My vote is for....

Silver linings friends...remember, every black cloud has a silver lining.

Continue to count your blessings,
Jessie

Appt. with the General Surgeon

Today, Kimmy had her appointment with the general surgeon (forgot to get the name, it is a her, she'll be called GS for now).

The name I did get is the type of cancer she has. It is called Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. You can look it up for more information but from what we are told, it's the most common type of cancer women get. The stat says 80%.

http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/types/idc/

Invasive - it has spread
Ductal - started in the milk ducts
Carcinoma -  cancer that begins in the skin or other tissues that cover internal organs

Today, the GS shared with her the pros and cons of the different procedures ie. lumpectomy, unilateral vs. bilateral mastectomy and learned about a new type of therapy called Neoadjuvant Therapy.

Neoadjuvant therapy aims to reduce the size or extent of the cancer before using  treatment intervention, thus making procedures easier and more likely to succeed, and reducing the consequences of a more extensive treatment technique that would be required if the tumor wasn't reduced in size or extent. (got that technical definition from the internet)

It is one of the choices because the GS and the plastic surgeon have to be scheduled together and this could take weeks.

Her next appointment is Tuesday at 8am with the oncologist. Together they will discuss all the options and decide if it's best to wait a couple of weeks for the GS and plastic surgeon to get on the books together, or do the Neoadjuvant therapy where chemotherapy starts immediately and the surgery will follow a few months later.

Although it doesn't seem like a lot of news here, again, it seems like the knees stop jumping and the breathing is a little easier when we get more information. Word in Goodyear is that this appointment was a good one. Erika will report after the Tuesday appointment.

Smile everyone...have a nice weekend.

Jessie and Dr. McSteamy

10 Foods That Prevent Cancer | Yahoo! Health

10 Foods That Prevent Cancer Yahoo! Health

Trying something new here. I'm posting directly from an article I read on yahoo. Hope it works!

Appointments Set...

Hi everyone!

Just a quick update. Kimmy was able to get some appointments set pretty quickly despite the holiday, the weekend and their insurance change (which was already in motion prior to the news).

Tomorrow, Thursday, she has an appointment with a surgeon and then on the 10th she will meet with an oncologist.  We'll let you know what happens after these appointments.

A little side bar moment for me here....yesterday, I was at Office Max getting my new 2012 calendar and of course, standing at the checkout, there was a book just begging me to buy it.

Chicken Soup for the Soul...Think Positive

No joke. I think I laughed out loud. Perfect timing.  It is loaded with great quotes to start each story...

Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow.
-Dan Rather

Cancer is a word, not a sentence.
-John Diamond

When you treat a disease, first treat the mind.
-Chen Jen

You know what? I think Kimmy is treating her mind first and I'm so proud of her right now. Perhaps she or my mom don't readily see it because they are with each other every day right now, but I do. Together, they are keeping her life as she's known it to be. Normalcy is bringing peace and stability.

Happiness is far more about our attitude than our circumstances. From a great attitude we gain strength.

Mom got to live a day in the life of a cafeteria volunteer with kinder kids today. Thanks for sending this picture mom. It's great to see Kimmy doing something she loves to do. It's great to see her with a great attitude. It's laying the foundation for her strength in the future. These moments are treating her mind...

Have a great day,
Jessie