Surgery complete!

Hi everyone! Duane has sent word that Kimmy is out of surgery and the doctors said everything went great! She went under about 11:30 am and they predicted about 4 hours. Not too shabby.

Here are a few pics and notes from today...

Kimmy and Duane waiting for the doctors and anesthesiologists to arrive, talk last minute questions, etc.....

Dr. Cox is at the top of the bed and Dr. Finkel in cap and gown....good friends of Marcia Horn!
From mom: Duane is relaxed and making plans for the Home Show and kimmy is encouraging for him to go. I think I am relaxed because kimmy is. Nikki asked me last night if it is ok to worry even if her mom is not worried. 

This is how you tell where the patient is at. She is 5280....

Kimmy is currently in recovery...more updates soon!

Jessie

222....

That's how many days have passed since we found out about Kimmy. 222 looks like zzz's which means sleep, and that is something that is just not happening for me right now (1:57am). I felt compelled to just say 'thank you' to everyone for your constant support and prayers, for being so supportive of our entire family through this process and for relentlessly not being afraid to check in and ask questions.

Kimmy has handled this challenge with grace and dignity. She hasn't shied away from anything and has shown such strength and courage along the way. I thought I knew not only my sister, but my entire family. This has shown me how much I didn't know and has opened my eyes to the beauty that is within everyone's hearts. The beauty has always been there, in 222 days, it just became something truly alive.

Duane thank you for loving Kimmy and taking such great care of her and the kids.

Mom and Dad, you have shown, without a doubt, your true commitment to your family. How lucky we are that God gave us you as our parents.

Family and friends, you are the light that brightens each next day.

How fitting that the Olympics are in London and that Erika chose "Keep Calm and Carry On" as our mantra. They have shown so many images of it that I feel like NBC is talking to us!

Enjoy a few recent pics....

GO KIMMY! GO TEAM USA!

Jessie


4th of July.....

Nelson family photo...

Kimmy and Nikki on a dancing break at Alix's wedding...

Just showing off my parents and their grandkids with the newest addition...Bailey!

It's surgery time!

Hi Everyone!
I wanted to update you on a few things...

1.  Kimmy is doing really good these days.  Although her taste buds aren't back to normal yet, she is starting to eat a few things that were favorites of hers in small amounts.  This is a huge improvement from a few weeks ago!  Her energy is alot better also.  She was able to get back to grocery shopping without getting winded, driving her Yukon and other little things you take for granted when your health takes a nose dive.  It's great to see her in the living room when we come over (Steve and I now live down the street from the Nelsons), talking and lauging with her instead of in her bedroom because it's too much of an effort to come down the stairs. 

2.  Kimmy's surgery (double mastectomy and reconstruction) will be occurring tomorrow late morning.  She had her final appointment with her plastic surgeon last week to go over the particulars.  The type of implant, size (she wanted to go DD!!  I told her that was too big so she's going smaller - j/k), how long the surgery would take (2 1/2 to 3 hours).  After an 11 page consent form, booklet and other forms to sign, we were done there and as I type, my mom and Kimmy are with the general surgeon going over last minute details for what will happen tomorrow, what will be biopsied, etc. 

She'll be in the hospital for one night and then she'll be able to come home with her new boobs!  My mom, dad and sister will be here to help take care of the daily chores since she won't be able to lift her arms and Duane has to work.  Someone has to feed her!  And what about me? I get to hang with the kids after they get off of school.  :-)

She calm, cool and collected.  She isn't really nervous (except for a few things ~ anesthesia, intubation) and she's looking to this next phase and continuing on her road to a full recovery.  So, as tomorrow approaches, send her all the positive energy you can and wear your pink to show your support! 

Thanks and I hope you all have a wonderful week,
Erika

The countdown is officially at ONE!

It was almost six months ago that we found out that Kimmy had breast cancer.  Tomorrow marks her FINAL chemo treatment for this second phase.  It's been a very long journey for Kimmy, Duane and her kids.  The second round proved just as taxing as the first round with more physical side effects that have really taken a toll on her.  From her eyes and nose continuously watering and her fingernails lifting to not being able to stomach much of anything and losing 10 lbs.  The one bright spot was this weekend when she showed me her hair and said, "LOOK!  I have fuzzies!"  She was very excited that her hair is growing back.

This past weekend I took Kimmy and Nicole to the mall in search of dresses for my daughter's upcoming wedding.  She was a bit nervous about the excursion because she tires so easily.  But we had to get it done before they came out to California so off we went to the mall!  We rented a wheelchair to make the trip a little easier, but with all the people at the mall, it was a bit difficult to play NASCAR to get to Macy's.  I also had a hard time maneuvering the darn chair and I'd hear "AHHHHHHHHHHH!  You're going to bump me again!"  Getting into the elevator *WHACK* getting out *WHACK*...  all I could keep saying was "Sorry...."  Luckily, I didn't topple any displays AND we did find a very pretty dress for her to wear to the wedding as well as for Nicole so I considered the trip a success!  

Hopefully now that her last treatment is tomorrow and the last steriod she has to take is friday that she will start the process of sleeping easier, her taste buds go back to normal so she can savor those dishes she loves so much, her energy returns to her in record time so she can run and play with the kids as before, she can help in the classrooms and cafeteria and she feels like herself again. 

She met with her general surgeon and plastic surgeon today (20June) and her general surgeon couldn't feel the lump anymore (YAY!) and if all goes well, she can have her mastectomy and reconstructive surgery as early as August 1st.  Let's all keep our fingers crossed that this happens. 

You all have been so supportive of Kimmy and the family.  Thank you so much for continously wearing your pink on Thursdays, for the sweet messages you send Kimmy and above all else... the LOVE!  It's much appreciated... 

So for tomorrow... why doesn't everyone wear pink from head to toe!  Just douse yourselves in pepto bismol.  hahaha.  Just kidding!  Have a wonderful thursday and I truly believe with our collective positive thoughts, Kimmy will be able to feel them from all over the country (and world). 

Love to all ~
Erika 

5........

5 more infusions to go....I don't think that's any consolation to Kimmy. This is getting tougher.

For a few days prior to Mother's Day, Kimmy wasn't well....at all. She had quite the date with the toilet, if you know what I mean.  All I know is the Friday prior, she sounds like crap on the phone. Saturday, she didn't even make it to Nikki's last volleyball tournament, which is a true indicator of how lousy she's feeling. Sunday, my dad delivers his Mother's Day gift....himself....on her doorstep, wearing a bow. Monday, he takes her to the doctor and then by Wednesday I get a call from Kimmy.

"I'm ALIVE!" she says and sweet lord, she is a whole new person. She highly recommends that we all let our nose hairs grow long, until we can at least braid them. Blech....but that IS what she said.

Apparently, having no nose hairs allows all the junk we normally collect up in there, to travel down into her throat and stomach. That is what was making her sick, not the chemo itself. She had a feeling and told her doctor, received some medicine and had a nice recovery from this random setback.

Dad has been out there since Mother's Day and I know this has helped lift everyone's spirits. Having another person around really does make a difference when the going gets tough. We are all so grateful that he is able to make these trips. My mom left yesterday and will return on Sunday. I know she was anxious to get back to Goodyear and see Kimmy.

Kimmy thinks she might lose her nails, they are still painful to the touch and really red. Her hair is starting to grow back. Just a little.

Most often, when I ask how she's doing, she simply says "fine"...like when we were in high school and mom asks how your day was. That kind of fine. I don't really like being relegated to the one word answer corner so I try to remind myself that my role in this is not to be that person. I think my role is to talk about just everyday normal stuff. I think. So, in our normal fashion, Kimmy texted me to tell me that she LOVED Phillip Phillips last song of the night on Tuesday. (He is the newly crowned king of American Idol, who I love. period.) Anyway, when she says those kinds of things, I sit on the edge of my seat waiting because I know Kimmy, and she only expresses like that when she really really digs something.

Here comes the song, and I'm a bawling mess. It was just so beautiful, the artistry, the production value, the words. Wow. He just sang it to Kimmy....

"Hold on to me as we go...as we roll down this unfamiliar road...and although this wave is stringing us along...just know you're not alone...cuz I'm gonna make this place your home...settle down it'll all be clear...don't pay no mind to the demons they fill you with fear...if there's trouble it might drag you down...you get lost you can always be found...just know you're not alone, cuz I'm gonna make this place your home."

Thank you Phillip. I've watched it twenty times.

Kimmy, I know you feel like giving up and taking a break from the weeklys, but just hold on. Keep fighting and like Phillip sang, know you are not alone....YOU. ARE. ALMOST. HOME.

http://www.americanidol.com/videos/season_11/performances/phillip_phillips_home/


All my seesterly love,
Jessie

39th rotation of the sun...

Hi friends!

Today, Kimmy completes her 39th rotation of the sun....IT'S HER BIRTHDAY! Shoot her an email or a facebook message if you can because today is unique day.  It's her birthday.....it's Thursday, and we all know what that means. It's chemo day. Not one of us can relate to the highs and the lows of the emotions behind celebrating a birthday with a chemo cocktail.

In true Kimmy fashion, and despite not feeling good, I am positive she is going to find a way to laugh. I already got a few HA HA's in response to some silliness I posted on facebook. We all just want to make her smile today.

Kimmy hits halfway today....I'm sure I am missing some details, but what I know is that this round is harder than anticipated. Her hands hurt to the touch and she just feels constantly sick. She isn't sleeping well at all, is very very tired and her tastebuds are shot. Everything tastes bad, except for a few random food items.

Two mornings ago, I called her and she sounded terrible, exhausted. Yesterday, I called her at dinner time and she sounded so much better! I told her so and she said "That's because Duane made me laugh!". Apparently, corn is on the list of cravings, an item that gets past the tastebud duel. She asked Duane for corn, he prepared it, she dug in and SPIT it out! "What IS that? That's not corn!". Welp, Duane actually prepared hominy and didn't realize it. She didn't get her corn but she got a great laugh out of it and that seemed to make up for it.

Kimmy, just keep remembering that today, on your 39th birthday, you sit at the top of the chemo mountain. You are halfway there.  Look at how far you've come in what we all call a battle, a word that I now truly understand.

I close my eyes and see you as my little sister, sitting atop of a park slide, anxious to get to the bottom. After today, you get to slide down. Slide, slide, slide....it's not fun, it's not exhilirating, and it certainly may not feel like it's all downhill, but you are almost there.  Soon, you will be able to plant your feet firmly on the ground.

In an effort to continue to make you laugh today, I offer this image that I KNOW will make you laugh to tears.

Thanks to Anne Bergeron for sending this picture of her daughter with the Tennessee mascot Smoky! The Vols baseball team is rooting for you too!

To all of our family and friends on this journey with Kimmy, keep praying for her, Duane and the kids.  Add an extra prayer for the LA Kings to continue winning too. Kimmy would appreciate that!

Support, listen, and love.

Happy Birthday Kimbawick! We all love you!!!!!!

Jessie

Treatment 4 of 12.

Hi Everyone,
Just wanted to let you know that today marks the fourth treatment out of twelve.  The first treaments came and went with little difficulty.  Minus the occasional numbness of the foot and her not sleeping well at night, she was doing great. 

Last week was her first side effect of the chemo treatment.  They had to stop the infusion of Taxotere and had to administer a saline solution and then benedryl.  Kimmy said "After my friend experienced her reaction I thought 'Would I know what to look for if I started to have a reaction?' and then started feeling very hot and my skin around my face started tightening up".  Yep, that will do it!  Along with that, the treatment went longer because once they started the chemo infusion again, they had to do it at a slower pace. 

So, this week let's hope she doesn't have another reaction and she's done a little sooner.  Her treatment just started... I'm praying everything goes smooth and with my mom there, I'm sure she will make sure everything DOES go smooth. :) 

BIG HUGS to Kimmy!

Hope everyone has a great Thursday and rest of the week,

Erika

Round 2....

Hi everyone,

Kimmy starts Round 2 of the next chemo treatments tomorrow (Thursday). 9:30am.  Remember, these are the ones that will be every Thursday through mid June. Entering the world of the unknown again as there is no telling how this will affect her.

We'll know in a few days and we will let you know.

Thanks again for all of your support.

Chemo 2.1, better watch out. Kimmy's in a fightin' mood.

LUUUUUUUUCCCCCC!

Hi everyone!

As you know, an ongoing mission has been to collect fun photos for Kimmy....random moments of inspiration! Kimmy texted me a couple of days ago and said Luc Robitaille, NHL Hall of Famer, was going to be at Living Spaces in La Mirada for an autograph signing. Sweet lord, I couldn't contain my excitement.

If you don't already know, Kimmy's love for Luc spans back into the 1980's. Her room was purple, she knew every statistic for every player and Luc Robitaille was her favorite player!

Late '80's - Jessie attends a Tip-a-King event with Kimmy. Mom drove us and got into a bidding war with some big company over a signed hockey stick. Apparently mom knew the woman in charge and got the secret notice when to add her final bid before the sheet was pulled at the auction. Mom's tigress silent auction ways were in full effect back then. She loves the drama of a good silent auction!

In between, Kimmy watched a zillion games and was at the game when he retired! The best full circle moment came when I was offered the chance to work at his retirement gala event. I said "I will do it for free on one condition...my sister Kim needs to be here too!" And wouldn't you know, Kimmy had the BEST job! SHE was Luc's personal contact for the event. SHE was his greeter, making sure the family knew where they were going, where to sit for dinner, make sure they were ok, etc. etc.  I watched and cried like a baby from the shadows. I was so happy. It is a moment we both will never forget, for different reasons.

Feast your eyes on this! 20 years later...

Here are a few more fun pics to enjoy from this glorious evening!

SO, when I get the call that he is going to be at MY Living Spaces, I have to be there!!!  Actually, it was a text that sent me all aflutter. I threw Sammies sock in the trash and put the trash in the laundry basket....

The online notes said only one autograph, so I printed my before and after shots seen here and my Kristin Chenoweth picture as proof, and armed with my planned speech, we were off! I took the girls with me, Megan taking cell phone pics, Mia taking video and while in line, trying desperately to teach the girls about Luc and why we love him so. Truly, this is Kimmy's love, I consider myself collateral damage.

Funny enough, last week, I made this picture, taken from his retirement party, to provide Kimmy with a boost in spirits! (you can click on the picture to enlarge and read the text)

Little did I know, just a few days later,  I would get THIS!

I am at peace, I can now relax. I got the only shot I ever wanted.

 It's April Fool's Day, make sure to trick someone today....GO KINGS!

Jessie

The Three -ing's...

Good evening family and friends!

I was fortunate enough to take the trip to Goodyear for Kimmy's last chemo treatment of this first round.  Leaving Friday and returning Wednesday afforded me quality time with my sister and her family. I am going to write a separate post about my experience but suffice it to say, my brain is fried.  As I told my husband last night, I virtually spent Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday in silence, except for the voice of my new tv pal Rick D'Amico, who does a whopping 4 hour telecast on the channel 10 news (I thought GMA was long!) I came home to 3 children wrapped around my legs and a dog jumping on me. The welcome committee was heartwarming and so precious, but 5 hours post-return with 3 children under 9 all talking to me at the same time was mind numbing! So, in an effort to bring to life my almost 6 day, humbling yet inspiring trip, I'm taking a moment to reflect just a tad....

I am writing tonight to serve up the latest news on Kimmy's progress. Today, she had an appointment with her Oncologist. I left yesterday afternoon and tag teamed with mom. She flew in last night to go with Kimmy to this appointment. With Duane keeping to the daily grind, it's nice to have a second person with Kimmy.

So, drumroll please.......

As stated to me by Kimmy, the doctor said the tumor is 

Shrinking

Softening and

Dissolving

in that order. KABAM!

He is so happy with her progress, everything is really going great (easy for me to say, right?)

Let's say it one more time, the tumor is shrinking, softening and dissolving. I know when I spoke to Kimmy on the phone today (she was shopping with mom), I could hear the excitement in her voice. It think she may have done a little soft shoe up and down the store. This fight is not over, but as I mentioned in a previous post, we celebrate all victories along the way and this is surely one of them.

I could also hear the lightness in my mom's voice after she and I spoke a bit later. Mom, I'm sorry I can't remember exactly the way you said it to me, but whatever you said, conjured up some images in my head.

From the first day we learned of the cancer until the recent past, I offer up this photo of Mike Wizowsky to explain how I think everyone was feeling....

At this point in the journey, I think Kimmy (and the rest of us) probably feel like Buddy the Elf when he sees Santa in the mall.....

Again, this is clearly not behind her yet, but those three -ing's were the best three words I've heard in a long time.

So, what's up next you ask?

Starting next Thursday, and for 11 Thursdays after that, she will be going through her second round of chemo, same type of process, in a chair for three hours, etc, but a different drug with different side effects.

I think there was definitely an UGH moment to hear 12 Thursdays, but the alternative was to do less infusions of a stronger dose which meant she could be down for the count alot again. Given the choice, she opted for the 12, apparently might have numbing in the hands and feet and unfortunately might get stung by the big D (not Bee, D, if you know what I mean...and if you don't know, it has 4 syllables and kids will often add cha-cha-cha to the end).

The good news is this takes her to mid June, and god-willing, she'll have a recovery period that will allow her to fully enjoy our niece's wedding in July. If there ever was a gift to get, that's the one folks.

One last thing, remember how I mentioned the significance of some of these big events falling on family birthdays? Well, this next round begins and ends on the birthdates of two of her good friends. Kind of crazy.  She is surrounded by so much love. Keep lifting her up, our collective force field is working! Incredible....

Don't forget to buy your Mega Millions ticket,

Jessie

4th Treatment in the first round.

Hi Everyone,
Tomorrow is a big day. It marks the last treatment in this first round of chemo Kimmy has to go through. The following week she has her follow-up oncologist appointment and will hopefully get the schedule for her second round of treatment she'll be starting in April.

I'll be wearing my "I WEAR PINK FOR MY SISTER" tshirt. I hope you will join us in wearing some form of blush and bashful (pink or pink) tomorrow!

Have a great day!

Erika

She doesn't fuss, she doesn't complain, she just CARRIES ON.

Just a quick update on my little sister.

I've been out here for five days now and it's been hard seeing my sister go through what she is experiencing. This third chemo treatment has hit her the hardest. She's really drained of energy, she is more nauseous than before and everytime I turn around she's sleeping. She keeps apologizing for being a lump on a log (puh-lease... like I was expecting her to entertain me the entire week).

The thrush has come back (again) and her describing what it feels like (her tongue has a winter coat on it) is something I wouldn't want to experience. She started on the medication right when she felt the first layer appearing on her tongue and hopefully in the next couple of days it will go away again.

I do what I can for her and then I leave her alone because she also doesn't feel like talking. Just a note to all her friends... if you call and she doesn't answer, she isn't ignoring you, she just doesn't have the energy to talk on the phone. But she's a fabulous texter!

I have to say... my sister is a trooper! She gets up early in the morning with the kids because she wants to be there for them when they go to school. She makes it a point to sit at the table and eat (even if it's not alot) with the family when it's time for dinner. Hopefully she will start to feel more herself sooner rather than later.

Please continue to pray for her and send her good thoughts and notes whether it's through text, facebook or on the blog! I know she loves and appreciates it.

That's it! Have a great rest of the week everyone.

Erika

Third Chemo Treatment Complete!

Hi Everyone,

First of all, I want to thank everyone who sent Kimmy messages, wore pink and posted pictures and just sent good thoughts and wishes to her and the family. It's always appreciated!!

I had the chance to take her to her chemo appointment today. Although I wasn't able to stay for the entire session, I did get a chance to see where her treatments are given, I was able to meet some of the staff and ask questions as the iv line was being inserted into the portocath. The entire process was interesting and the staff so very nice and helpful. Kimmy told me that her "Chemo buddy" had a reaction to the treatment today. She turned very red in the face and got very hot. Kimmy said the staff moved very fast and stopped the chemo treatment, introduced benedryl to her iv line and once her color became normal, they restarted the chemo treatment but at a slower pace. Situation under control, Kimmy said they went back to talking the rest of time.

After I picked her up, we went to Frye's (it's a grocery store here in Goodyear) to do some shopping, watched movies (I brought alot of our favorites to watch), went to pick up Nathan and came back home and started dinner. She took compazine prior to dinner so I'm not expecting her to stay up much longer.

She looks good, her attitude is incredible. She's such a fighter. She laughs (or should I say she laughs at me) and jokes alot. It's great to be out here with her, Duane and the kids.

OH! Before I sign off, there was one funny moment in the waiting room before Kimmy was called back for her treatment. I noticed my husband, Steve, had posted a picture with his new shirt on. It reads, "Don't let Breast Cancer steal second base". I had told Kimmy about it before but she really never said anything about it. Then when she saw the picture of my husband in his shirt she busted out laughing and said, "OH MY GAWD! I just got what the shirt meant". I just stared at her and started laughing and a lady that was sitting across from us, who was listening and watching us started laughing also... it was a great way to start the treatment.. on a very light hearted note.

A few images from today...

In the chair....

Hi everyone....Kimmy is "in the chair" now as I type (that's what she just texted to me). Keep her in your thoughts today. May this treatment continue to destroy the enemy.

Erika took a solo road trip out there. She is helping to hold down the fort for a week.

Just thought of something. The Nelsons live in Goodyear. My gut is telling me this WILL turn out to be a good year....

Jessie

Update and some tidbits...

Hi family and friends! It's been a bit since we've posted, but let's consider that a good thing. Kimmy is rockin and rollin with her treatments. She has had two infusions so far...number three and four are coming up on March 1st and March 22nd. 

Today, she had an appointment with her Oncologist. My dear mother flew other there yesterday morning, returning today, to go with her. She's great at moral support and it's good to have another set of ears to translate information. More on my mom's trip in a bit.....

The news is inching it's way towards being great news. The doctor said that the mother lump (gosh, when I say those words, I giggle...no disrespect Kimmy. It just sounds funny. It perfectly describes how I feel somedays) is getting smaller! (Insert high kick here!)  The report is that everything is going smoothly, her white blood cell count hasn't been affected, she is handling the treatments well, and has been encouraged to stay the course that she is on. I believe the prayers, great emails, care packages, cards, loving notes and humor are really helping Kimmy out. Thanks to you all...big group hug everyone. There certainly is more to come, but for now, we celebrate small victories! This is a blessing to surely be counted.

Next up, Erika will be heading out for a week starting on Leap Day, Veronica will be visiting as well, and an early birthday celebration for Nathan will take place. His birthday didn't line up well with treatments but Kimmy and Duane will find a way to celebrate.  As any kinder child would naturally be concerned, he was worried that not having a party meant that he wouldn't actually turn 6. Kimmy has assured him that March 9 is still a date on the calendar, he will absolutely turn 6, and most certainly receive presents. If you can, post a birthday note to Nathan to make his day extra special!

I'm looking forward to my visit for her 4th treatment in March. On my own personal note, I learned a big lesson the other day. While we all try to shield our children from unpleasant and hard to deliver news, sometimes the best route is to be honest and upfront.  I finally told Megan (8) and Mia (7) about Tante Kimmy. Megan has heard tid bits here and there and was persistent in asking "What's wrong with Tante Kimmy?" I wasn't upfront with her and feeling guilty. On Valentine's Day, as our family sat around a fire for an evening pow wow, she asked again. My simple explanation wasn't cutting the mustard so I finally said "What Kimmy has is a big word. It's called cancer." Megan gasped audibly, Mia just stared.

Megan:"She has cancer just like Teddy?" (a child that was in her kinder class, had cancer, doing great now, by the way)
Mia: "Mom, how long have you known about this?"
Megan: "Is that why you've been sitting at the computer and crying alot?"
Mia brought me tissue for my tears, they both leaned in to give me a big hug. Wow. I underestimated them big time. There is freedom now, to talk and share. Feels good.

Guess who is excited about getting their pink shoes? I will make sure to post theirs when we get them!

************************

Back to my mom. As Kimmy puts it, this was technically mom's shortest trip to Phoenix but it felt like the longest. Apparently, the drama started on the plane ride over. Sitting next to a seemingly harmless individual, mom engaged in conversation. He asked her where she was from and she said, "Originally, Chihuahua, Mexico". The response from the old, white man from Kansas was, "Are you here legally?" HAHAHAHAHA! Sorry mom, I can't stop laughing. Stick to, "The Long Beach Area" when next asked!

Yesterday afternoon, she kindly picked up a lunch shift at school. She passed a child who needed to throw out his trash and he yelled "Old lady, come back!" That's almost as bad as calling her Abuelita.

THEN,  clearing a group of boys by about 8ft., she got whacked in the back, square between the shoulder blades with food! As her daughters or co-workers can attest to, don't tick this woman off! She turned around, saw the boys turn back to their food, and picked out the most scared looking child. As Kimmy tells the story, mom interrogated the scared one, who quickly pointed the finger and ratted out the culprit. Mom told Angie the Cafeteria Lady (she deserves caps), and Angie told the VP Ms. Carrol.

7:30 am this morning and Duane answers a knock on the door. VP Ms. Carrol made a personal delivery of a bag of bagels as an apology to mom. Kimmy loves Ms. Carrol, even more so after the delivery. She says she works SO hard. 3 Cheers to Ms. Carrol!!!

The cafeteria boys were 6th graders....back in so cal, Megan told me yesterday she didn't want to ride the bus anymore because the 6th graders are mean to the little kids. What's up with 6th grade? I have a new favorite quote from Steven Tyler's American Idol last night that seems fitting...."We are all posers on the bus until we find a way to express ourselves". Love it. Best thing he's ever said. Whether the bus or the cafeteria or in life, we are all trying to find our way...

************************

Thanks to mom for being a roving Where's Waldo?! She has taken a few pictures sending great messages to Kimmy!

This is at an event in Long Beach with 3 members of the Marine band. She got the clarinet player in the picture in honor of Nikki! The note says Best Wishes Kimmy! (make sure to log on to www.ournewpink.blogspot.com to see the pics!)

Next up is Mom, Dad and Supervisor Knabe. Now, that is some professional sign! It's a beautiful picture, except for the obvious. heehee...sorry dad!

From the same event, "Dancing for Our Stars!", the entire 4th district offers up the following:

Let it be known that Don and Julie Knabe won FIRST place! This event was held for Long Beach Memorial, benefitting the Heart and Vascular Institute. Hard work and training paid off. They danced to victory in an event that brought in hundreds of thousand of dollars. Way to go Supervisor and way to go 4th district for delivering a prize winning photo. Mom, you look great in that pink!

Sunshine, sunshine everywhere. Off to Cerritos College for a baseball game. Pray for a victory, they aren't doing so hot in preseason, otherwise I'm going to have to bring in Kimmy for some motivational speaking or bring in the cafeteria boy to do some pitching.

Love to all,
Jessie

Definition....and a defining moment.

Greetings everyone....thank you for still being on board and following updates on Kimmy! Today, she had her second infusion and all went well. In fact, she went to the grocery store and got some errands done right after. Her attitude is to get things done while she can. Smart thinking!

I think she fully expects to have the weakness, feeling tired, thing come back on the 3rd day after. Therefore, this time around, my parents are going to take the trip to Goodyear on Sunday to help out.  Kimmy already said mom is going to have her hands full helping Nikki put together a 3-d model of a kidney! Oh the joys of 5th grade projects. Like I said earlier, this is a silver lining folks...

Speaking of silver linings, I spoke to Kimmy this evening and she said something that made me smile. She told me that since I wrote about finding the silver linings in her new reality, she has really tried every day to find something that would be just that. She found one....she said that the hair on her legs where she shaves is just about gone. Woo hoo! No shaving! And just in time for spring and summer!  Yep, ladies will attest to the fact that this is a true silver lining. Please accept this is as SL #3! There may be more, but some she may keep close to the vest, this one she shared with me.

So, on the topic of hair, I decided to look up it's definition.

Hair: Any of the threadlike pigmented structures that grow from follicles beneath the skin of mammals and consist of layers of dead keratinized cells.

ewwww. That sounds kind of nasty. Who wants dead keratinized cells on their head when you really think about it? Not Sinead O'Connor, Not Charles Barkely, Not Michael Jordan, Not Kelly Slater, Not Demi Moore in G.I. Jane, Not Howie Mandel, Not The Dalai Lama, Not Kevin Youkilis, Not Kim Nelson.

Get the picture?  Well, you aren't going to get one here yet.

Kimmy isn't ready to share her new look sans tresses and I respect her wishes. She took matters into her own hands. After the loss of hair chunks and pain on her head that was driving her mad, she said Enough! She started with the clippers thinking she would attempt the Ellen D type hair, but the clippers weren't doing the job. She said she then took the scissors and just started whacking away. At one point, she had to sit on the edge of the tub because she was laughing so hard at how she looked...random hair pieces here and there made her look like a mangy dog. She said it, not me!  Next, she took the clippers and went for the straight buzz cut. She did it all on her own. Sitting here thinking about it, I think it would be quite the liberating feeling to do what she did. I'll have to ask her about that.

This is a defining moment.  You hit one out of the park here Kimmy. Considering the fact that you told me a few days ago you wouldn't do a short cut in transition, you can imagine my shock. I'm proud of you seester. You took the bull by the horns.

So, for now, she's wearing baseball caps. There is comfort with no hair when visiting the docs office today but out shopping around is going to take some getting used to. She said it's hit or miss if people look at her for a tad too long. I suggested to get some of the tattoos our kids like to wear, the kind you wet with a sponge and apply. Maybe a few of those going up her neck combined with her doc martens, and folks will just think she's part of that new era metal militia.  I thought I was pretty clever.

P.S. Kimmy herself said she has a pretty round head!

Public Sevice Announcement: Don't stare at bald women. Bald men are accepted in society, a bald woman means there is something wrong. So what if there is? Just offer up a smile. No hidden meaning attached, not laced with pity, because she will be able to tell.

To steal the closing of my favorite Mark and Brian...

Be good humans.

Jessie

Tomorrow...

is Kimmy's second chemo treatment.

Say a little prayer for her and send her good vibes and thoughts as the next week will probably bring new challenges for her.

As she goes through these procedures we will all learn new things with how the chemo treatments affect her, how to help the family, how to help her cope and how to make her laugh...

I'll have to come up with some good stories or silly jokes. If anyone has any... please forward them or tell her yourself! I know she'd love it!

Erika

p.s. wear your pink tomorrow! Shoes, hats, shirts, bands, pins... anything that will let her know you are thinking about her.

Special messages...

T+5 and Kimmy is on the mend.  There really isn't much to say about these days post first infusion. I've sent her messages, simple ones "How do you feel today?" and I get back "I feel good. :)"  That makes me happy. 

Here's moms take:
She was fine the first two days without nausea.
The fatigue came in Sat. and more pronounced Sunday.
Worse yesterday and today she feels better.

My dad was out there for 5 days and came home yesterday. It was a good thing he went and I think it's a good thing to have someone hanging around after infusions because when your body says rest, you must rest. That rest is going to be big in helping her get back on track.  A little extra help for Duane to run kids around to parties and sports is a good thing.  

My mom received a special message from someone today and part of my mom's response to her, I believe, has a message for all of us:

"P.S. I appreciate your asking. You do not know how many people stay away because they do not know what to say. I know they care but they do not know how to approach the family."

Sometimes it is hard to reach out when you feel like you just don't have the words. I know I have missed opportunities for that very reason. I'm going to think differently now because I know the act of reaching out in time of need is truly courageous in and of itself. I now ALSO know how reaching out has affected Kimmy in such a positive way. No encouraging words are ever wrong, rather, they are always welcomed and very appreciated. They now come with the understanding of how difficult it may have been to share the words. That makes them all the more special.

So, thank you everyone...for asking questions, and for not being afraid (or even being afraid) to reach out and for sharing your strength and compassion with Kimmy and the family.

*************************************

I had the opportunity to work the NFC Championship football game this weekend (shout out to Maria Giannini!) and had a couple of special people send Kimmy some very special messages. (Try to log onto the actual website to see the pictures) www.ournewpink.blogspot.com

Kristin Chenoweth says "Kim, keep smiling!" This woman is priceless and it turns out her mom had the EXACT same thing Kimmy has!  Kristin said "You TELL your sister something for me. You tell her to get rid of them! My mom had a lumpectomy and it came back." So, Kristin is getting her hair and makeup done and I sent that to Kimmy via text. Kimmy's response was "Haha! Awesome! Kristin Chenoweth just told me to get rid of my boobs! How cool is that!"You KNOW I had to read that back to Kristin and the woman was in stitches over the great response.

Kimmy's response to the picture was "OMG! That is the best! Thank you. =) I will!". 

Another (ahem) friend (yeah, I wish!) sent Kimmy this message...

It's hard to read, totally my fault, but so worth the effort. Jimmy Stafford, lead guitar from TRAIN said "Kimmy, kick some tail!" He sends his best, he really did. I don't make those things up.

I think I've now created another mission. Erika is keeping the Shoe Solidarity Movement going and now I'm going to make myself like a Flat Stanley and see who I can get to send Kimmy special messages.  Or, is that more like Where's Waldo? Either way, feel free to join in this mission too!

Support Kristin and Train whenever you can people. They are rockstars in every way.

Love,
Jessie

At the end of the day...

...All is well.

I'm not sure what I expected to happen but Kimmy is Kimmy, the same sounding Kimmy she was yesterday. Something about that was very reassuring.  I got a call after her first chemotherapy session today and basically, it went off without a hitch. Was I expecting her voice to change like when you suck helium out of a balloon? I don't think so.  I think I built this up in my head so big that I don't know what I expected, but today wasn't it. Believe me, that's a good thing!

Kimmy said that she was most nervous about the insertion of the needle into the porta cath.  The nurse told her to take a deep breath in and she did, and walah! the needle was in. She didn't feel a thing and said that brought her great relief!  She listened to music, read her kindle, played on her phone and surprisingly said it went by very fast!

Tomorrow, she has a scheduled injection (the day after every treatment). This is something that is supposed to boost her cell count.  We aren't sure what the next few days will hold since this is the first one but god willing, the side effects won't be too bad.  Duane isn't on call this weekend and my dad is there too so there are plenty of hands on deck to help out and let her relax. Dad, how's the lint trap looking?

The shoe movement is catching on! If you don't want pink shoes, put anything pink in your pocket to serve as a reminder of Kimmy and others battling cancer. It's a simple and great way to offer your support.  The power of positive thinking is working.  Kimmy feels it every day so keep it coming!

I'm in San Francisco right now and as I look at this beautiful city, I am reminded of the beauty and love that is around us that can fill our lives. Be thankful every day for what you have, try to see people and life through different glasses and remember everyone has story. You may not know the story, but offer up a smile. It could be the one thing that makes a difference in their day.

Keep smiling Kimmy...we all love you. I am one of your biggest fans!

Jessie

T minus 3 days

Kimmy had her "chemo class" today. Honestly, I forgot to ask her what she learned! We will let you know later. I think it was mostly about certain foods she is to stay away from during her treatment but again, I'm not yet positive. It's not that there was a lack of interest, it's just that we knew she would learn the date of her first chemo session, and that is what I was anxious to hear.

We did learn that she was given a schedule of her treatment plan.  Apparently, she will receive a master schedule of all her appointments, including chemo sessions, next day injections, lab work, etc.

Her first chemo date is set for this Thursday, January 19 at 11:00 am (Phoenix time). T minus 3 days....

There is something strange about the dates big things are happening. We found out about her cancer on my nieces birthday, her portacath was inserted on our Oma's birthday and her first chemo is on my daughter Mia's birthday. What are the chances? There has to be some good karma behind that.

After a little bit of deliberation, Hansi will be heading out to Phoenix on Wednesday and stay though the weekend. We've been talking alot about someone being with Kimmy during her sessions, especially the first one, but after talking to her, I now realize that may have been more for us, or just me, but it was important to tell her so. I really appreciated, after I heard a little bit of a sigh, that she was able to tell me she really just wanted to do this one by herself, read her book, listen to her ipod, essentially just sit in peace.

I'm good with that. I'm glad she said it. Otherwise, us cackling fools might try to fill the space of uncomfortable silence with too much talking. Maybe I should just speak for myself here. But, now I know and if I ever do go with her, I will be able to bring my book and my ipod too, and know it's okay.

************************************

My mom has said numerous times that she knows how she feels and can't even imagine what Kimmy feels like. I think everyone has something different going on.  This week, I felt like a horse in a cage about to start a race....feet moving, only in place, anticipating the opening of the gate...you can picture it, lots of subdued jostling but enough to know that the moment the gate opens, it's off to the races. Well folks, we are now off to the races.

************************************

Random thought: Everytime I write the words cancer or chemo, I keep saying to myself 'is that supposed to be capitalized?'. Well, I caught myself talking to the computer telling these two words 'you don't deserve to capitalized!' I had a few choice words in there as well.

Caps for proper nouns, what's so proper about cancer or chemo? Nothing, so you don't get my caps!

I warned you...random thought.

*************************************

Nikki update: I wish I had the capacity to not only perfectly quote Kimmy but to also bring to life the way her voice sounded when I asked about Nikki. She said she is doing so great, so much better than expected. Kimmy has to utilize her left arm for most tasks. She has to keep her right side pretty steady to let the portacath settle properly. She also can't let it get wet just yet. Nikki helped her wash her hair in the sink and when mom holds one handle of the laundry basket, Nikki holds the other. Together, they carry it up the stairs. Not only that, Nikki switched the laundry on her own and took the dry stuff upstairs. Now, you may think that's an easy task, but if you have young kids, then you understand how utterly cool that is. Kimmy said she did it all on her own, no one had to ask. That, is what makes this special. She is getting it, and no one had to say a word. A few weeks ago, a laundry story didn't bring lumps to my throat. Now it does. Making us proud Nikki....

Teamwork is the ultimate power,

Jessie

P.S. So, a Shoe Solidarity Movement has materialized for Kimmy! If you want to take part, go get some pink kicks...check ours out! Who is next?

Friday the 13th...not so bad after all...

Right now, hopefully Kimmy is sleeping! She didn't sleep much last night and was up before the crack of dawn.

I learned that the MUGA scan was easy. She had 3 electrodes placed around her  rib and chest area. Then, something that sounds like a panel came down on top of her, she said it practically touched her nose, then an angle, then on the sides, but it wasn't fully enclosed (unlike an MRI). Each panel movement resulted in a 4 minute scan.

The technician asked her what she was getting the scan for. His response was a good one...helped to lift the spirits! He said when he was 15 he had Hodgkins Lymphona and that was 15 years ago. Good karma going in to this.

For the portacath, she was given Verced, which she called the "twilight" drug...you aren't out but you aren't totally with it either. She said she could hear everything, doctors talking, etc.

Big step coming up....She just texted and said that her "chemo class" is Monday at 4pm and that they will schedule her chemo appointments then. (insert deeeeep breath here)

**********

Yesterday, Kimmy told Nikki (11) and Nathan (almost 6) that she is sick but that the doctors are going to give her some really good medicine to to help her get better. Nikki, smart as a whip directly asked "Do you have cancer?". Nathan, after Kimmy says she is going to lose her hair said "That's not cool."

Although dreading having to tell the kids, Kimmy felt better that they now know. It was a burden like no other to carry, and I, for one, am glad that weight is lifted from her shoulders. Great job seester.

So friends and family, I ask that you not only pray for Kimmy and Duane too, but pray for my niece and nephew. They are about to receive a life lesson that children just shouldn't have to learn. But, like all lessons, we accept the challenge.

Collective hug everyone...I am picturing all 50 plus people on this website in a basketball team huddle, arms linked, shoulder to shoulder, Kimmy, Duane, Nikki and Nathan in the middle.

We got your back kid....

Jessie

Update....

Hi friends, we have an update for you....

Kimmy has a 7am appointment tomorrow morning (Friday). She will have a portacath inserted.

Portacath is a device that is used to make the administration of chemotherapy easier.  It is placed under the skin in the upper part of the chest.

She will also have a MUGA Scan, which is a test for the heart. You can read more here about this MUGA scan  http://heartdisease.about.com/cs/cardiactests/a/muga.htm

Tante Liz (my dad's sister) lives in Tucson and is coming in today to take her to the appointment tomorrow. She was told she needs a ride home. Thank you Liz for offering your support from the beginning, meaning it, and stepping up when asked. Thank you just doesn't seem enough....

Kimmy has to go through a chemo education appointment before she can actually start.  She has a pending item with insurance and once it clears, she will have this appointment.  What we do know is that this first chemo treatment plan will be four infusions. They last for 3 hours and will be every two weeks.

Phoenix is one hour ahead of us so when you wake tomorrow, make your first thought a good one for Kimmy...

In closing, I received an email yesterday from a girl I used to coach.  Her mom's mastectomy was literally a few days ago. She wrote, "It's okay to smile during times like these". Boy, I needed that reminder.

Kimmy...."smell the roses, blow out the candles" (you know what I mean) and remember it's ok to smile! Love you!

Jessie

These Boots are made for Walking...

Hi Everyone,
Sorry it's taken me so long to post, but I've been waiting for some information from Kimmy. She did have her oncologist appointment today and after talking with my sister, I think it was a waste of her time, my mom's time and left Kimmy confused, having more questions than answers and NO decision on what she was going to do. My opinion? This wasn't a very productive meeting and all I can say is that I'm glad it was my mom that was there instead of me...

The oncologist told Kimmy that he wanted her to do the neoadjuvent treatment first. It would be approximately four treatments, one every two weeks and each treatment would be 3 hours. But he thought that if the tumors shrunk they could then do a lumpectomy. OR if the tumors shrunk then nothing else would be needed, no lumpectomy, no mastectomy, nada. He said if the cancer came back then he would do the mastectomy. (REALLY?!?)

Obviously, Kimmy was just a tad bit upset, so once they got home she called her General Surgeon (GS) just to get their voicemail letting callers know that they were off today due to training. All Kimmy could do was leave a message (and as Kimmy said, she tried to sound as destitute as possible so the GS would call her back)... and the long afternoon wait began.

The GS did call Kimmy back (late in the day) and she said that the GS made her feel so much better that a decision was finally made. The GS did agree with the oncologist on the neoadjuvent treatment being the first course of action. There will be a few other treatments that Kimmy will need prior to the surgery so she is looking at 4-5 months before her mastectomy.

Bottom line... the chemo treatments could start as early as next week!

I just want to drive out to Goodyear, meet her General Surgeon, give her a HUUUUUGE hug and THANK her for making my sister feel so much better. I feel like we have been collectively holding our breath the last few weeks... it's good to finally breathe again.

Now the real work begins... especially for my sister. I wish I lived out there so I could hold her hand every step of the way. The one thing I do know is my sister is one tough cookie and can handle whatever is thrown her way, especially now that she has new PINK Doc Marten's my Tante Karolina sent her from Kentucky. I know she'll kick the shit out of this disease with those boots. Now to get her a pink wig to go with the Doc Marten's. :)

Keep her in your thoughts and prayers and we'll continue to post updates on how she's doing.

Thanks for your continued support. We truly appreciate all the kind words.

Erika

Silver Linings...

I know I said more Tuesday, but I couldn't resist sharing a few moments that I see as silver linings in this new chapter in life...


Silver Lining #1

If you know my dad, he likes to check our lint traps, gas tanks, and make sure our plants are watered. When you know he is coming over, we are on high alert. When my parents first went to Phoenix, Kimmy made comment that she had to dust. I said "*bleep* the dust, just check the lint trap"...made us laugh.  Today mom said dad has something new he's going to check when he comes home.  He told Kimmy "I cleaned your vacuum today. I saved the hair for you in case you need it later". I know, gross, right? Nope, just plain 'ol dad humor. I'm still laughing.

SL: Not only will our lint traps be clean, but now, our vacuums will be tended to as well.


Silver Lining #2

Mom is getting to really experience the life of the lunch lady, with a few tips from Kimmy. Handing over the pair of plastic gloves... "Do NOT argue with them if they throw out their uneaten lunches!" Horror of all horrors for mom...wasted food.  Apparently, the decibels get louder and louder from Kinder to older hungry children. Mom snuck out to 'clear her ears' and check emails. Kimmy found her hunkered down in the quiet gym. She said "Kimmy handed me a rag to clean 50 TABLES four different times! Those poor lunch ladies work really hard." The only thing she said she wouldn't agree to is to push the trash bin through the aisles. Mom said "I've SEEN what those kids do. They throw their food at the bins and miss! I refuse to be the target!"

She also is called "Grandma" in the classroom...'grandma, I need help!'...'grandma, can you open this?!' Pardon my laugh, that just cracks me up.

She has also gone through Nathan's right of passage. She was told she could pick him up at the bus stop instead of Opa.

SL: Mom is getting to experience some quality moments with her AZ grandkids. A day in the life of a child and in someone else's shoes, priceless.


Quick Doctor note:

Kimmy has been given the names of two plastic surgeons she will get to meet next week. Turns out Dr. McSteamy was busy.

The GS said that one doctor is "a man, 65, with wild white hair and a vocabulary that will make a sailor blush".

The next is a young female, reserved and very businesslike. Takes a little to get to like her but in the end will love her.

Well, if you know Kimmy, it should be obvious which one would be a good fit, based off of these descriptions. My vote is for....

Silver linings friends...remember, every black cloud has a silver lining.

Continue to count your blessings,
Jessie

Appt. with the General Surgeon

Today, Kimmy had her appointment with the general surgeon (forgot to get the name, it is a her, she'll be called GS for now).

The name I did get is the type of cancer she has. It is called Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. You can look it up for more information but from what we are told, it's the most common type of cancer women get. The stat says 80%.

http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/types/idc/

Invasive - it has spread
Ductal - started in the milk ducts
Carcinoma -  cancer that begins in the skin or other tissues that cover internal organs

Today, the GS shared with her the pros and cons of the different procedures ie. lumpectomy, unilateral vs. bilateral mastectomy and learned about a new type of therapy called Neoadjuvant Therapy.

Neoadjuvant therapy aims to reduce the size or extent of the cancer before using  treatment intervention, thus making procedures easier and more likely to succeed, and reducing the consequences of a more extensive treatment technique that would be required if the tumor wasn't reduced in size or extent. (got that technical definition from the internet)

It is one of the choices because the GS and the plastic surgeon have to be scheduled together and this could take weeks.

Her next appointment is Tuesday at 8am with the oncologist. Together they will discuss all the options and decide if it's best to wait a couple of weeks for the GS and plastic surgeon to get on the books together, or do the Neoadjuvant therapy where chemotherapy starts immediately and the surgery will follow a few months later.

Although it doesn't seem like a lot of news here, again, it seems like the knees stop jumping and the breathing is a little easier when we get more information. Word in Goodyear is that this appointment was a good one. Erika will report after the Tuesday appointment.

Smile everyone...have a nice weekend.

Jessie and Dr. McSteamy

10 Foods That Prevent Cancer | Yahoo! Health

10 Foods That Prevent Cancer Yahoo! Health

Trying something new here. I'm posting directly from an article I read on yahoo. Hope it works!

Appointments Set...

Hi everyone!

Just a quick update. Kimmy was able to get some appointments set pretty quickly despite the holiday, the weekend and their insurance change (which was already in motion prior to the news).

Tomorrow, Thursday, she has an appointment with a surgeon and then on the 10th she will meet with an oncologist.  We'll let you know what happens after these appointments.

A little side bar moment for me here....yesterday, I was at Office Max getting my new 2012 calendar and of course, standing at the checkout, there was a book just begging me to buy it.

Chicken Soup for the Soul...Think Positive

No joke. I think I laughed out loud. Perfect timing.  It is loaded with great quotes to start each story...

Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow.
-Dan Rather

Cancer is a word, not a sentence.
-John Diamond

When you treat a disease, first treat the mind.
-Chen Jen

You know what? I think Kimmy is treating her mind first and I'm so proud of her right now. Perhaps she or my mom don't readily see it because they are with each other every day right now, but I do. Together, they are keeping her life as she's known it to be. Normalcy is bringing peace and stability.

Happiness is far more about our attitude than our circumstances. From a great attitude we gain strength.

Mom got to live a day in the life of a cafeteria volunteer with kinder kids today. Thanks for sending this picture mom. It's great to see Kimmy doing something she loves to do. It's great to see her with a great attitude. It's laying the foundation for her strength in the future. These moments are treating her mind...

Have a great day,
Jessie